"The truth is..I'm no easy..I'm just one vulnerable, sensitive and yes, one stubborn person..and still they don't know the details..it's hard to tell..they can never imagine..but I know what I know..it's not supposed to happen..I won't allow it to happen...again..never..(can it be..with this weakness..my weakness??)...I gave them so much chance..I was like an umbrella..burnt myself...not that burnt to ashes...but burnt..like a shield...hot and burnt..then when you're not needed...you stay, ready at your service, any time..then you'll get warm n cool...n then there comes the rain..here comes the shield..cool and cold..but felt like being smashed..in that stormy rains..sometimes you fought hard..ended up broken, useless...you are not needed..you were replaced..you were left, there..totally..no way to be fixed again..totally wrenched ...wrench the soul...why..why..what with this cycle...not a chance now....I learnt mine..(you keep telling this uncountable times now..but still...) that's why..now I understand..why to some ..they just hate...and at some point..they never healed..now..I know..now...I understand..
This is to ease my mind..don't ask..I'll keep it to myself..I don't even trust myself anymore..The realization hurts..
Make urself convenient...so that others will be a convenience to you...but yes...with all that, still always some took things for granted...like they never learnt their lesson!!This is the expression of years of experience...They said..I must change...must I change my way...to make things easy..due to some unfortunate events..(according to them)..but what if it's not really who and what I am???The worst crime to do is not to being yourself..you'll be trapped..guilt..Nobody wants to be somebody else!!To like somebody..like them for who they are..to love somebody..love them unconditionally..simple!And one thing...you always learn valuable lessons from everything that happened..yes..at the very moment the so called 'unfortunate event' happened..u'll ask, why?why?But then..of all the hidden secrets you learnt..so they were never 'unfortunate event'...they were indeed..valuable..."
Okay tak kalau ni jadi prelude novel???or columnist pengalaman hidup dari kaca mata pengamatan sekeliling macam Adibah Amin tu??Love her!Love her writing!I've written my thoughts a lot..and maybe deleted somes..if some of u might noticed..(those were so hurtful I can't even look at the headings!!..Those things that you can forgive..but u can never forget!!) so I shall begin again....and I hope it won't be a cliche..
Entah tetiba mood menulis ni datang...baru lepas tengok cite hindi Aaina...(Jackie Shroff sangat charming!!) - Orang len sibuk dok tengok cite korea, jepun la, omputih la....Hindi..???Nak balik ghaye...tiket belum beli lagi..setiap minggu dok tengok ...kenapa tiket mahal sangat ni..:-(..
Okay dah melalut..