Stop right now!

Last two consecutive nights, I dreamt about someone I have not thought for several years...more than 6 or 7 years to be exact. I woke up from my long hours of a very quality, deep sleep I  would say and in a few seconds I wondered...What?...Why?...How?..So to stop lingering and to stop those tardiness,  I conclude...it was just a dream!But why suddenly...after all this years? I didn't intend to tell who that someone was. That someone deserves to be anonymously mentioned. They're history there; once a very sweet  and memorable one..but saddened to be remembered..

I admit I'm an affectionate and passionate person, but I hate being mushy when it comes to this. I have moved on with my life. I really do and  I must say..totally. Well thanks to the age of maturity. as it  pays me good deal!Think about it, think of all the chronological events took place, I asked myself.. How can I ended up to ..bla..bla..bla...like this??Of all the things I did, I tried.. I just thought, that's it..They're all signs., were they not??They might even not worth to begin with. Perhaps, right from the very beginning.. It  hurts, it has caused me pain. At some point, sometime I had this feeling...am I'm being cursed to receive this..am I cursed to be treated like this??But whatever it is..I kept telling myself...well..although sometimes I lost to my solemn promise..that i kept asking why must I worry about something...which doesn't really benefit me..at all??Or things which didn't appeared as I thought?Well..as the famous quotes saying...everything happens for a reason...and we shall learn from them, to be a better person..to improve our  life entirely!

I knew a great deal of what I've been through..is there any single person who knows yourself better than you?Is there any better person who understand what you feels , what you've experience than your own self?Your inner...self?Bunch of people whom I knew cares a lot about me..advices me...reminding me..awakened me..makes me realize..somehow..yes they answered most of the wonders..I really2 appreciate them..and demonstrate them in my daily life....But somehow, they're always tiny little details that could make a huge difference for all the stories..they're always little explanation  the author of any books would kept..too much details are not very good...so I shall not worry...But to my utmost concern; Recurrence is a nightmare..I have to stop...or if it can't be done..at least..to avoid such tribulation, I leave them to Allah for my ultimate source of strength and faith... I surrender to Him; the Almighty with praise and worship so that I could ease my heart, my soul for if they are not carefully cured, the wound will stay...bleed continuously....and I definitely do not want the scars to leave their marks forever....

Then to learn of what all this means, I stay positive.  I've had enough. We don't always get our instant gratification..as some of the best thing in life requires and demands years of  praying, hoping,  waiting  and most importantly, patience. So I tried..and still trying...to be as much patient person as I can... to nurture as much gentle soul as I can..to cultivate as much sincerity  as I can.. and most importantly..to train myself..not to be affected by all this interference and disturbance..so all I need...a little more laughter, a little less worry..a little more kindness..a little less hurry...and smiles...smiles all the way!

"Grant me the Serenity to accept the things i cannot change,
  The Courage to change the things I can..
  and the Wisdom to know the difference.. "

I really shouldn't be bothered any futrher...I should've known of the circumstances...I should've known what would happened..I should've known what to expect..Why I always being so complicated?Complicatedly..complicated..the complicated me...Stop!!!!!!Right now!